I remember when I was 6 years old, when I woke up at night I often thought: "What will it be like when I die? What will happen to me? where will i be What will happen to my body? Am I just a physical body? What about my loved ones? Will I meet them?". These questions troubled me because there were no answers.
      My grandmother was a religious person, she went to the Catholic church. She introduced me to another reality, which was my first experience on the way to getting to know my inner world and building a relationship with God. As a teenager, I studied at a church school, went to confession, participated in the chanting of the rosary, realized that there is a God and was looking for a way to know God's Love. I also went on a pilgrimage to Aglona once. It was an unforgettable trip and experience. However, the search for myself through the church ended during the years of study, because I noticed more and more the contradictions between reality and what I felt in my inner world about the Divine world. I realized that my feelings and life do not change much, at least not the way I wanted. There was a feeling that there must be another, different path and opportunities.

      Then came a phase of life when I simply indulged in the pleasures of life, because it seemed that through it I would create the fulfillment of the Soul and be happy. However, it was a delusion. A big circle was walked, but neither pleasure nor friends brought inner peace and harmony, and life conditions did not work out the way I had wanted. The joy was fleeting and not real, and after every great pleasure came only deep pain, self-flagellation and frustration. I got to the point where I felt a lot of aggression in my inner world, dissatisfaction with myself and the people around me, anger that suffocated me. I realized that I can't live like that, I don't want to, and I have to find a solution.

     I was given a path of self-discovery and development through the knowledge and processes offered by psychotherapy. I began to learn to know, feel and change my emotions. I started looking for the causes of negative emotions. During 2 years, I had the opportunity to find superficial harmony in my world of emotions, because I could not find the cause of all emotions in this life. I was not left with the feeling that there is something deeper, because the answers cannot be found only within this life and also the analysis of emotions and organizing one's life without a higher goal - how to get closer to Love, live in accordance with the laws of the universe and understand one's deepest essence - the Soul is not complete.

      In parallel with psychotherapy, I had the opportunity to attend yoga classes. The very first lecture I heard moved me to tears. I understood, this will be my path, because there will be answers about previous lives, the laws of karma and knowledge and processes, how to move towards deeper self-knowledge and God's Love. For 8 years, I studied extensive Vedic knowledge - the art of positive thinking, Ayurveda, hatha yoga, astrology, numerology, svara yoga, the art of meditation, etc. I was looking for an opportunity to get to know myself, but through painful processes I found that I had gone very far from my heart and Soul, because knowledge, techniques, managing material life, ego had become more important than God and God's Love. Pride, aggression and non-acceptance of people who thought differently as yogis grew. Life processes showed that something is not being done in accordance with the laws of the universe, because there was disharmony in the inner world - I felt dissatisfaction with myself and life conditions also showed it - the situation worsened in several areas of life - both at work, in relationships and in health. I couldn't understand how it could be - I meditate, exercise, eat right, live according to astrological recommendations, but life doesn't go the same way and emotions are negative. Life clearly showed that knowledge and practical processes cannot be higher than God.

     The search continued. There was an opportunity to go to Nepal, India, to meet intelligent and spiritual people. In India, I got my palm leaf, which is found in special centers in India by a person's thumb print. The page contains information about a person's life, how it will develop in all areas of life going forward (future prediction), and also provides an insight into a person's past and future life. I wanted to receive a palm leaf because there was complete confusion and misunderstanding of how to move forward in life. I was looking for some salvation - a "pill" that would tell me what to do, how everything would be. I learned from the palm leaf what and how it will be formed. The information was both shocking and comforting with positive news for the future. At the same time, after the trip to India, life began to fall apart and fall apart even more, a depressive period began, the soul felt trapped, there was a lack of freedom to move forward in life, because all the time you wait and know what should be. The information that was given about how it will be was like such a program in the mind - huge and unchanging, from which there is no exit or bypass, so accept, try to accept and wait for how it will be.

     Then information about Kriya Yoga meditation came to me. I was initiated into kriya yoga, started practicing this meditation technique. I was missing a teacher who is present and you can talk to, who observes how consciousness changes, how development happens

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